Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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