Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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