you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
