No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
