found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
