just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
