Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We need to get me chipped asap
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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