thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
