last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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