yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
