I wanna bring you to show and tell
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize