I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
