He had one of those small greek statue penises
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
