in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
