I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
