I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Even my vagina gasped.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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