JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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