she peed on how many people?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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