I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
