i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Green mimosas i think yes
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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