Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
