wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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