Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize