Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
