Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
