An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize