From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
