Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
