so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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