my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
