It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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