I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
