scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
