Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
