I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
