walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize