she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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