I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
