is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
