Buhtt sex?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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