i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize