I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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