She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
