Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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