He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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