Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
