i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
