i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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