'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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