cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
