I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize