My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
