Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The uberlube is also flammable
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize