My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
