office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
