still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
