At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Randomize
